Tales from the video shop Pt III

In the video rental system, the people are divided into two separate yet equally important groups: the people who hire the movies and the customer service representatives  who tolerate them. These are their stories.

As I’ve mentioned before, signing up a new customer was may be the worst part of working at the video shop.¬† To keep the line moving smoothly everyone goes through the same simple steps:

Step 1. Enthusiastic welcome
Step 2. Membership card is presented
Step 3. The password is recited
Step 4. I scan the videos (possible banter occurs here, but is not a required step)
Step 5. Pay for said videos
Step 6. Pleasant farewell
Step 7. Repeat

You’re in your groove then, all of a sudden, you’d go to serve someone (Step 1) and ask for their card (Step 2) only to have them say “I’m not a member, I need to join up”. This was like yelling “Stop the Presses!”. A video shop relies on operating off the simple & quick process of the above steps. When someone holds up the line the shit goes crazy. As a result you tend resent people that want to become a member and can often be a bit short with them. After this particular signing up though I was never short again…

So, to join up you need 100 points of ID which was basically a drivers license with another piece of corroborating ID like a bank card etc.

“I don’t drive” he says.

That’s strike 2. Non licensed people are the worst, both in this instance but generally in real life too. By this stage I am acting like a real prick as the line of disgruntled customers grows longer and longer.

“Well, what ID do you have?” I spit at him

“Gun license? Well, gun licenses.” he says as he drops multiple state gun licenses on the counter.

*long pause* “… Um … I suppose that’s okay” I reply.

The rest of the sign up process was done in a pleasant manner (re:me trying to nice all of a sudden) but he saw through my act and stared at me the whole time. I finally finished and he was on his way with a bag full of Ultimate Fighting Championship & Steven Segal DVD’s. Just as he was about to walk out the door he asked me if i wanted to see his shotgun in his boot and then laughed maniacally…

I wondered, if he had a car boot, why didn’t he have a drivers license?I never did asked him about that.

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